Jonah Lazar, 11, has been following “Right of Way” from the beginning, when his father Jerry submitted pages that introduced the story’s Sidney Pizer character and became our script’s second installment.
Each week, using his dad as a sounding board, Jonah thought up possible new plot twists, but he was concerned he was too young to dive in with his own submission. Then, last weekend, enjoying spring break from sixth-grade, Jonah took the plunge.
His goal was to add humor to the script, and he did so by introducing two investigating detectives with clashing personalities. He also felt the story was lacking a “hot tamale like Angelina Jolie,” whose animated presence in last year’s “Beowulf” he greatly admired. I believe his exact term was, “Vavoom!”
In this, his instincts were perfect. Every noir drama needs a femme fatale, and Celeste, the once-vixenish movie star who seduces the mayor while her husband is being murdered across town, now has some serious competition for the part. The fact that the tamale is her daughter Rachel can only serve to make things more interesting.
In the interest of full disclosure, Jonah’s dad Jerry admits to helping his son “word it in” after Jonah came up with the story. I also did a polish, which I routinely do on all submissions. This one, in fact, required no more work than usual and focused mainly on toning down a few bits that were more than likely added by the elder Lazar anyway.
Bottom line, it was young Jonah’s effort that made script pages 15-17 come to life, creating two disparate cops and one desperate daughter.
If his English teacher is reading, he deserves extra credit.
