So I was at the vet picking up radioactive Evinrude -- oh yes, we'll have more on that later -- when I saw this notice taped to the front counter. Ill-behaved, bad-mannered, hump-your-leg-at-a-dinner-party dogs wanted.

Who knew that when I trained Jake and Maisie to sit and stay and pay their Visa bills on time, I was keeping them from reality TV stardom?