Another unhappy newspaper reader...

• We get up early. We get going early. If the paper isn't on the driveway by around 6 am (the weekday promised time), then we don't get to read it. It goes from driveway to recycling bin.

For many years in Pacific Palisades, we had good early morning service. Then we got a new delivery guy. And the early service evaporated. We called. We griped. Sometimes the paper would come earlier for a while, but then it wouldn't again. So, we threatened. And, again, we had good early service for a while. And then not. After more than a year of this good-bad-good-bad service, we canceled. They begged and pleaded and sent us to a higher echelon "please don't quit" representative, but we were adamant.

We didn't like it. A lifelong habit of paper-reading over breakfast is hard to break. There's stuff in the paper that's not on the website. Like the sports on TV thing. But we were strong. We read the website. Or not. We read magazines. We got on without it.

A little more than a week after we canceled, the salesperson called. A cranky, rude woman. She offered me a Friday, Saturday and Sunday subscription. When I said that we had quit because of delivery problems, she said (in a very snarly tone) that she knew about a "delivery problem in our area" and that it had been solved in our neighborhood. I declined, saying that we were moving soon and would just do without the paper and maybe we would sign up again after we moved. I very clearly said No. No. No, thank you. No. Maybe later, but definitely not now. No.

The next Friday, there was a paper in the driveway. At first, I didn't connect it to the telemarketer. I figured it was a mistake made by the new delivery person. If, in fact, there was a new delivery person.

Then the paper showed up again on Saturday. And Sunday. But not Monday. We enjoyed reading it. I won't lie.

OK. The b**ch had put the order in, even though I said NoNoNoNO. So, the next Friday when the paper showed up again in the driveway, I called and was put through to a distant island. They doubted my story. They did not believe that I had not re-started the paper. They questioned me about which days I had received the paper and why I hadn't called sooner if I was getting the paper and didn't want it. And, again, they put me through to the DealMaker who offered me discounts, offered to suspend my subscription until we moved, etc. NonononoNO.

We live in Calabasas now. The paper's on the driveway at around 6 most mornings. A little later on the weekend. So far, so good.

Kathy Rogers
Everybody Knows