*Dramatization of a conversation overheard this week in a Westwood Village cafe (dialogue is paraphrased):
INT. - A WESTWOOD VILLAGE CAFE - MID-AFTERNOON
Most tables occupied by patrons. Some drink coffee. Some read books or newspapers. Some work on laptop computers.
EXT. - CITY STREET OUTSIDE CAFE
Two Los Angeles Police Department officers park their cruiser curbside.
INT. - CAFE COUNTER
Officers step up to counter. OFFICER NO. 1 inquires after CASHIER.
OFFICER NO. 1Somebody report a disturbance that involved a transient?
CASHIER pauses, appears to have put matter out of mind, turns back, walks through kitchen doorway.
MANAGER stands behind register.
MANAGERWhy did it take so long to respond to that report?
OFFICER NO. 1We got a busy day and it's a long way from the West LA police station.
MANAGER appears perplexed.
OFFICER NO. 1A faster response is possible if you report it to the UCLA Police. Their station is just over there.
MANAGER appears perplexed.
MANAGERBut, Westwood Village is LAPD jurisdiction, not UCLA.
OFFICER NO. 1UCLA will respond if the disturbance involves UCLA students.
MANAGER appears perplexed.
OFFICER NO. 1In the future, just call UCLA Police and say a transient is disturbing UCLA students.
MANAGER appears perplexed.
MANAGERBut, not all my customers are students. You can't tell who's a student.
OFFICER NO. 1If a transient bothers them, they're probably UCLA students, as far as you know.
FADE OUT